i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
