Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
