either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think your dad took our porno
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
