walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
