Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
