I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
