Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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