Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
