I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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