break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
