i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
