He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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