I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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