But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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