I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
