Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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