This girl is more easily done than said...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
