The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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