I think I died a long time ago.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
