Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
