Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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