Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
