There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
