i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
