1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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