i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
do herpes really smell.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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