I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
