You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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