god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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