I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
