Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I skipped work to stalk him.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
