you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
