I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
