Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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