Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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