We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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