Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
high people should be assigned attendants
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
