ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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