Please, let me fuck your mom
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
