someone get that fucking seahorse.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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