I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
