I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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