I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
