So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
