How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
