I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
