I wannas sexs uuuuu
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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