You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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