Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just tell him i said nine months
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
