Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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