I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
