Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
